Thursday, March 7, 2013

Nomad in love?

Prompted by a post from my fellow travel blogger, I have a few words on whether your love of travel is secretly sabotaging your potential for a relationship.
As you may have noticed, I try to keep my private life...well, private. I have other blogs for that kind of stuff. So, since this blog is dedicated to travelling and exploration of the world and the self, from that perspective, I try to streamline my posts to showcase more facts, interesting observations, but something that would be relevant to all the potential readers out there. Hence why my posts are quite sporadic- some days I just need to rant, and this is not the place for that.

That said, this issue of whether or not you will meet someone because you are not stable or rooted in one place doesn't just apply to the travel bugs out there- as an exploration geologist, my life takes me all over the world, sometimes for a few weeks, sometimes for a month, sometimes indefinitely,-but that is something I knew well in advance when choosing my career, I just didn't know how hard it would be.

Each time I am faced with the decision: is the new adventure worth losing what I have here, right now? And almost always, I hear a resounding “yes!” in my head-what is meant to be, will be. You cannot stop life from happening, but you can stop fear from letting you life your life the way you envision to, or secretly hope to.

As one of my friends once said: "people break up living in the same city every day, why would long-distance relationship automatically be destined for a break-up?" While I whole-heartedly agree that living in the same city does not offer immediate chances for the success of a relationship, having a long-distance relationship is not picnic either (although the comfort of knowing that you won't run into them at your favourite cafe after you break up is a great perk!)

Although there are some great uplifting examples of long-distance working out for committed couples, who have spent more than 2 years apart, only to reunite and get married and live happily ever after( far), it takes a fantastic dose of commitment, dedication, trust and,most importantly-great communication skills. Let's face is, when you cannot simply meet up after a disagreement, put your arms around each other, and agree to "forgive and forget", all you have to rely on is skillful communication-avoiding those sharp corners and possible problematic/sensitive topics.

Having said that, distance is not to blame for whether or not your relationship survives. Let's face it, throughout our lives, there will be circumstances when you will be forced to spend time away from your partner-days, weeks, maybe even months-so it is not through avoiding the separation, but rather how one chooses to deal with it that determines the "rate of survival" of this particular relationship. Breaks can be nice: having more time for yourself, your hobbies, meeting with the friends you may have been neglecting, getting to all those projects around the house you keep putting off, going the gym more often (and getting a free "fell-good" hormone boost!) and of course, having time to miss each other -all of this can put the romance back into a relationship, refresh your perspective on life and what is important- when done right.

I've had relationships fall apart equally as fast when a long-distance turned into living together, and vice versa. Despite all the challenges and unknowns, I am a firm believer that you should not let fear stop you-be it fear of missing out, fear of change, or fear of being alone for an indefinite amount of time- and I salute all of you brave souls out there who dare to explore what beyond what is familiar and comfortable. If someone truly wants to share their journey with you, it will happen- regardless of time, place, circumstances and plans.

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