Saturday, February 5, 2011

A feel-good pill?

So this is what we've become: a  feel-good society, where we no longer can express something non-positive, no longer is it acceptable to just vent and hope for compassion and understanding-no. Everyone has to look for the deeper meaning, spiritual-ize everything. when I am simply lonely and homesick, so why cant anyone else simply acknowledge that? I don't need a lecture on what to do and how to feel, I already know that. I don't need any justifications for my existence. I just want simple, human compassion. 
But no, we are not allowed to express compassion anymore towards somebody who's wallowing. No time for that! Just get up and move on. No time to acknowledge any feelings that are not positive or constructive. 

What happened to standing still? Feeling the emotions through and through, releasing them one by one without looking for shortcuts or glaze-overs. What happened to simply honoring how you feel: good or bad, without distinction?

Yes, i am happy for those people who can use pain and life experiences as some inspirational stuff to write about., share with people, motivate others... Me? I just want to wallow.  For a day or two... who cares. I don't want to spiritualize it, write about it in some ambiguous terms, pretending to understand the intricate workings of the universe and my place in it... I just want to say: i feel bad today. not good. I don't feel happy right here and right now. For many reasons. Some simple and some complex.

Sure, you can have all the tools in the world to solve a problem. But simply
 knowing what to do doesn't magically lift you out of how you feel. You still need to deal with and acknowledge your feelings, no matter what they may be. But first, the desire to change, the motivation has to arise. And I think sometimes that motivation can only come once you've had enough. Once you've had enough of feeling bad, low, depressed. But you cannot simply jump over that stage to the "feeling good again" part. 
Sure, our society will try to avoid pain at any costs: anti-depressants, sleeping pills, energy pills,- just go, go, go,-don't stop to think about it. Worse yet, feel it. "Life is a comedy for those who think and a drama for those who feel"-said a poster in my Junior High counsellor's office. Well, I disagree. Feeling are our natural barometer. They are the first ones to tell us when something isn't right, something is "off", before we even know what that may be. To rationalize your feelings is to lose touch with your inner self: when if you don't dig too deep, everything is fine and life is going according to plan. Just don't dig too far, we don't want that. Noone cares as long as all is fine on the surface. So we keep going.