Rome, Italy

One day, we all decided to go to Rome for a week. Each person had their own reasons. Me? It was incredibly cheap, I don't like to work and am always up for taking a little vacation break, and the best part- I'd get to see Venice for 1 day on my way back!

And so it began. Quite a weird bunch of us got together, having almost nothing in common, except being under 30 and living the life of a student. I've decided to forgo the hostel lifestyle and for a couple bucks more shared a very decent double- bed room in a 3-star hotel located 15 minutes walking distance from the Colosseum, which was totally worth it. I've outgrown hostels about 8 years ago. My philosophy is that you can always find a hotel deal which will give you more value for your money, rather than staying in a hostel where you literally cannot even leave anything valuable- I watched the other people in our group towing their giant backpacks on their sweaty backs in 30-degree heat, thinking "i bet they wish they would've taken my advice and stayed in a normal hotel room"- and yes, they did. The lesson here is, the cheapest option is not always that cheap-especially if you end up with a stolen cell phone, camera, wallet, etc- it's always better to stay on the "median" side of spendings, especially when it comes to a place to rest, sleep, recuperate- let's be honest, you will not enjoy any of your daily sightseeing if you didn't manage to get a good night's sleep due to 4 other people sharing your room/uncomfortable beds/noisy location. The things I look for when booking a room without splurging is, first of all, location- close to the metro/bus station and most sites; it's a huge bonus if they offer breakfast of some kind, even if it is just a coffee and a croissant, so that you can get up and go on with your day, without having to lose precious time in the morning. 

This is especially important if you're in Rome in August- it got almost unbearably hot during the day, hitting close to 40 centigrade, so we tried to schedule our activities accordingly- that would mean seeking shade in the mid-day, whether at a park or a museum, and covering most of the ground outside only in mornings and evenings-that worked out really well, and by the time the sun started setting down, we were refreshed and ready to go and explore more sights. But I'm not gonna lie, there were a few times I've had to take an extended leisurely lunch or a midday siesta, to be able to cope with going out later on. Just do whatever suits your mood and style, I guess- which brings me to my next point- the idea of travelling with a group.

I knew it would be hard even when I'd signed up for this, but I thought hey, it's worth a try- everyone else is doing it, and if you happen to be in a situation where your partner is unable to travel with you due to prior obligations, it's still better than to go alone. Boy, was i wrong!

I found so many things irritating and often enough, I ended up feeling alone or left out anyways, simply because I have my own way of doing things, in a more rational manner, that would make the best use of limited time in such a huge, culturally rich city with so much to offer.

As a result, while I was grateful to have a group there when I wanted to join them, I found it was best when taken in few-hour intervals. You really have the best chance of making sure you get to see exactly what you want and for as long as you want to when you do it on your own time, especially in a city like Rome. I chose to explore the city completely on foot, due to my central location, never taking a bus or metro once, in a span of 5 days (ok, excluding my trip to the beach, but that was obviously outside of Rome)-but I've never had my feet hurting as much as they did here in Rome- ever!(I did good by selecting to wear my ugly, utilitarian-looking summer hiking shoes with any attire-even then I could not feel my heels every night!)-so I strongly suggest you forgo any fashion trends and instead splurge on some sensible walking shoes :)


That said, each day I planned my daily route in some sort of a loop, so that I could hit as many sights as I could on the way, never going on the same road twice, unless that was the intention. Thus, after 2 days, comparing notes with the other people in my group of what they've managed to see that day, I always ended up having covered more ground, while remaining casual and relaxed, not stressing about the time spent at each place, opening hours...and even having time for leisurely cafe visits and lunch stops!My advice to anyone wanting to travel as a group in a large city is-don't. Unless you have a strict schedule that everyone agrees upon ahead of time or you just happen to be one of those people who don't care what they get to see, as long as they're "having fun"-clearly, I'm not one of them.

My experience of travelling alone in Rome had showed me that there is nothing to be afraid of, even when I ventured out past midnight on a Friday night, all I got was a few looks/whistles/comments-more of a funny "what was I thinking?" type of thing, rather than anything to be intimidated about.

And after all, in a city full of people where almost everyone out there is also a tourist, just as clueless and disoriented as you are, you never really do feel alone. I found that  as soon as I would break away from the group, little unique things would start to happen: a local would start a conversation with me in the street in Italian, while I would simply smile and nod; I would tune into the sounds out there, get lost in the little curving neighborhood streets and discover something that no guide book will ever tell you about...most of the time, I found myself with a little soft smile gracing my lips...there is something to be said about being able to trod this life at  your own pace:) 

Reality check

And, just like that, things end as abruptly as they begin.

I remember meeting my Mexican amiga in my first week in Tuebingen, when, after completing the first Math prep class, we felt compelled to relieve our academic inadequacies as well as get to know each other better over  a few drinks on my balcony. Few drinks turned into a few bottles and, before I knew it, we were telling   each other everything. That night I’d learnt about Ana’s hopeful romantic assuredness in her long-distance relationship with a boyfriend in Paris (which fell apart quicker than I had time to learn all the names of my classmates); about Cristina’s ongoing relationship with a guy in the States, who, throughout all their time together, seemed to spend more time apart than physically in the same place on the map-but who was I to judge, it seemed to be working for them. Over time, I had gotten to understand that there are certain “tricks” one develops in order to convince themselves they are happy in a long distance relationship. Sometimes, even so happy that they forget what it is like to have that person near and no longer feel the desire to align their direction  in life with that of their partner. 

Since then, our girl group drifted apart, as people arranged themselves into couple conglomerates-something I had never felt a part of, for one reason or another. My friendship with Christina, however unsteady, remained as something that was even more important than I realized at the time. Often enough, in the times of loneliness and depression, I’d felt as if she was the only person I could turn to, even if that involved more of just sitting around her dim, cold communal kitchen and commiserating about how much this program turned out to be a mis-advertisement, rather than addressing the real issue of our unhappiness. She often surprised and inspired me in her logical, practical and easy-going approach to life. And now, she will be leaving Tuebingen, Germany, me and this crazy Masters school behind, as she opens the door to her new chapter in her life. It makes me think than sooner, rather than later, this chapter will be closed for me as well. Surely, this seems like an impossible gap of time away from now, during which many things may happen that will change my view on the world and change my priorities. Undoubtedly, I cannot even fathom what I will deem worthy of doing upon (ever) finishing this degree. Only time can tell...

On making decisions

This is something I wrote back in July, while contemplating almost a year of living abroad:

What have I learnt out of my experience of coming to Germany?

I've learned that when it comes to making big decisions, don’t get sucked into  something just because it sounds exciting, or you don’t have any other options, or “someone” thinks it s a good idea…

really take it to heart, sit with it, see how it feels. You can even go as far as imagining yourself there, what would it be like, what are the potential struggles? Go online and find communities involved in this area/topic-talk to the people, see what they say, try to stay objective.

1.        Every decision has to come from a calm, peaceful place, in order for it to be the right one. As you are making a decision, ask the universe to give you three clear signs that it is right/not right for you  at this time.

2.      After  having made the decision, ask God for all protection and easing the transition into the new state of being/moving/new chapter of your life, removing the obstacles and surrounding you with the right people.

3.       Trust in the process and know there are no mistakes. If it doesn’t feel right, you are always free to leave and start something new in your life. Always. 

The return of the prodigal blogger

Seasons change, months go by...and somehow, I've managed to miss blogging about it for months now. Many exciting and new things transpired, most of which i had either managed to scribble down on pieces of paper that happened to be nearby, or store in my "internal blogging device". Needless to say, I feel a strong urge to catch up on my writing.
Well, for starters, I am much less depressed these days than I used to be. The idea of living in Europe is agreeing with me more and more and after having made some effort into making my life more comfortable and bearable, I now have quite a positive outlook on the remainder of my time here.
I have not yet set any big goals for myself for the next year, what matters to me now is whether I had managed to live my day as happy as I can, while staying true to myself- and that is what I call a successful day.

Call of the wild

Whenever I wake up much earlier then I'd like,  tiredly dragging myself, half-awake and still sleepy-eyed to whatever it is I have to do that day: a class, or, worse yet, a "job" that doesnt pay me any money, that I find extremely boring and a total waste of time. I hate doing something for the sole reason of getting a small piece of a puzzle for someone else: imagine learning new software, spending days entering data, figuring out how it works, just so that in the end, you can get a number for someone to put into yet another software to "improve" their model. It all seems pretty unreal and, well, useless. 

So i'm asking myself in the mornings: is this really what my life had come to? Is this "growing up"? If so, I don't really want it -no, thanks! I truly miss the days of waking up on the edge of civilized settlements and hearing a helicopter starting up, getting ready for a new and exciting day of adventures. Every morning is fresh, as you head out from your tent to the breakfast one, there is a sense of newness and anticipation.

I have just finished reading some great, lengthy e-mails of a friend of mine doing geology work in Cambodia. And it made me remember the beauty and romanticism of being a geologist in the first place, the reason why so many before us got into geology: the sense of discovery, adventure and pioneering spirit. 

Unfortunately it has now mostly been replaced by big money, solid job and a steady supply of cash that lets you afford everything an avergage person can dream of: a big house, new car, 1-2 vacations to Mexico a year.

However, it takes more than the average person to throw themselves into the wild, the unknown, with a leap of faith and see what comes up for them. It often includes struggles with the seasons, nature, loneliness, tiredness, frustrations...all to be reimbursed by amazing life experience, growth and knowing one's self.  

I'm only happy when it rains

What could be more serene and peaceful than watching the downpour from the warmth and comfort of your home, sipping hot cocoa and indulging in a book you've been putting off? These are my favourite kinds of days. That's not to say that I don't love the hot, sunny, "let's go to the beach" kinds of days either, but this is something different, where I feel no guilt in spending all day meditating, staying at home by myself. There is nothing more soothing than a sound of rain (in the absence of the ocean waves, of course). These are the pensive, creative kinds of days, that allow you to tap into your inner being, to slow down and just be here...

View from my window

Europe excitement

Realizing how close I am to Italy, being in South Germany, is rather an exciting thought. I remember my giddy excitement as a little kid when my dad brought me Swiss chocolates after visiting Zurich and some of Italy and ever since then my interest towards Italian culture and the desire to visit it someday had been growing. And here I am now! It's rather funny how despite being in Germany, I am much more interested in seeing the neighboring countries instead. It's not that I don't find Germany interesting, in fact, I love the vast wheat fields, little farming towns, rolling green hills and even some of the larger cities. It's just that given the choice, I'd rather be by the seaside instead, and a warm one, preferably. Thus, the Mediterranean coast is my best (and closest) option. There is really nothing like waking up by the sea and taking a stroll in the warm morning sunlight, perhaps stopping by the bakery, full of people enjoying their morning coffee and a newspaper, to get your fresh bread and then heading home to have a sumptuous, leisurely breakfast on your balcony overlooking the promenade. -That's me reminiscing of our times spent in La Pineda. And it's view like these that make me want to come back for more (taken during my first trip to the Mediterranean coast in October):

Attitude of Gratitude

I woke up today only by convincing myself that I can as long as I actually show up for my "scientific practice" at the Water Research Centre, I can successfully do nothing. Check emails, sit on facebook,-whatever it takes to make the 3 hours go by faster and less painfully. Yes, I know that I am supposed to be happy about doing something real, learning new skills and somehow "moving towards" eventually writing my thesis, but when I am giving up my only free morning when I could've been sleeping in, it's awful, it's terrible, and I am never in the  mood to work or "impress anyone". Better yet, I've made next to zero progress in the last 3 weeks, as I am still working on the same set of well data. Good thing they're not paying me, ha!

By the time lunch rolled around, I've noticed the grumpiness lifting bit by bit. And when I finally came home after another 3-hour lecture, one of my best friends from Russia was online and was willing to talk to me, endlessly. So here's what I've been meaning to say for a while:

I am so, so grateful for the wondeful friends in my life who make every day things fun. What started out as the kind of day that your cannot wait to finish, turned into a happy, content, loving one! And it doesn't matter whether we meet on the computer in some cyber space or in real life.  What matters is the amount of love, compassion and understanding pouring out of their hearts. I am one lucky girl to have these friends! Thank you :)

Simplicity

Why couldn't life just be as simple as: put on a new outfit, buy a new pretty dress and feel happy? Or why can't it just be all about pleasure and vanity? Get up, make your hair pretty, your face glowing, eyes sparkling, go out for yummy cake and lay down with your loved one, cuddling and watching a movie in the evening...why does it have to be deeper than that? why do we have to think about careers and what to do with our lives and how to make money and what we need to do on a daily basis in order to not fall behind, not to sit still and "fall out of the boat of life"? Or do we at all? Is that what people mean by "stepping out of the rat race" and enjoying every small moment instead? I mean, where is the difference between vanity/shallowness and honest contentment?

 Or does it go back to the same "the things that make you happy define your level of awareness" type of thing?

I wish life was really just as simple as buying a new shirt sometimes.

Resistance is futile

Resisting is the theme of the day, it seems.
I find that I must give up my childish, innocent views of the world for something more mature and grown up: accept that not everyone will always care about you and appreciate your company, accept that most people care about very little other than themselves.

So i ask myself: at which point is it worth it to give up, to change the dream from the one you'd thought you wanted to the next one? at which point do you say: enough, I've changed and I no longer benefit from this experience?

The one good quality of unhappiness is that it motivates us to change, to morprh, to strive for that which is not where you are now, to move towards the opposite, the happiness...

I get that noone can make your life happen FOR you, that I cannot just sit and idly watch as the things I want start to appear in my life. Although, wouldn't that be nice?