On travelling alone: the pros and cons

Throughout the duration of my studies, the people in my group often commented on my zest for travel, whether I had a travel buddy or not, simply because once I got the idea in my mind of where my next destination should lie, there was very little else stopping me.And while most of the other international students were content with a trip or two, here and there, wherever their friends were willing to travel, I needed to squeeze in as much as I could, knowing that it will all be over sooner than I can imagine. Thus, in a span of 2.5 years I've visited,and some more than once: Spain, Italy, France, Denmark,Switzerland, many parts of Germany, Croatia, Czech republic, Morocco, Greece, as well as the islands of Tenerife, Ibiza, Skiathos; I've volunteered in music festivals without speaking the language, I've stumbled upon free concerts and art exhibitions, met wonderful people all over, some of whom have left lasting impressions...and the list goes on. So, for those of you who are reluctant to travel the world, unless accompanied by a partner/friend, etc- here is my list of "pros" and "cons" regarding solo travelling.

The "pro's":
Well, these are pretty obvious: you're on your own schedule, free to change your mind or adjust your plans at any time. Not only does this give you a tremendous flexibility, but it also increases the probability or meeting people anywhere you go-perhaps other solo travelers, or locals who feel like striking up a conversation while sitting next to you on a park bench. I'll never forget the sweet old man in a Copenhagen park, who, apologizing for his "very bad English" went on to tell me his life story without missing a beat. Or the generous stranger who bought me a train ticket back to the airport after I'd figured out I don't have enough local currency. The thing is, people are kind and open to tourists intrigued by their culture, because at the end of the day we all want to feel proud of where we're living, so by showing interest in local history, traditions, culture, by striving to understand how people live in a given region, makes you more relateable than simply being another "american tourist" (as canadians are most often lumped together with americans, unless you're willing to make a fuss about it and explain the difference to each and every one).

The "con's":

Well, we're all human and sometimes we just want someone to share a moment with. Whether you've stumbled upon a gorgeous view, or a neat marketplace, it can have an even greater memory-making potential once you've shared it with a fellow traveler. Needless to say, mealtime is a little daunting. You can hide there all you want with your guidebook and notes at a corner table, but most people in our society view meal time as a social occasion, thus making you stand out like a sore thumb. I have to say, my opinion differs on that-yes, I prefer a take out when traveling alone, with a possibility of going to a nearby park and enjoying the views and the outdoors. It can also be enjoyable to sit there with a cup of coffee and people watch. However, in some societies it just won't do: in Morocco, for example, a single woman on the streets is basically a "working girl", or so the locals see it,-so, just to make it easier on yourself, I'd advise against it. Same goes for Egypt. Other places, like northern Italy and Switzerland, I was ecstatic to be alone, as there's just too much to see and do to waste your time on group travel.

Of course, it all depends on where you go and with what intentions. If you're looking to meet people along the way and spend a day or two exploring a new place together, hostels are great for that. If you prefer the introverted route, taking photos and blogging about your travels can make you feel like you are sharing these experiences regardless of whether or not you travel solo.I often catch myself walking around thinking how I will write about my day or a particular experience on the road later on. In a way, I find that this internal dialogue keeps you connected to your outside world, with your senses concentrating on perceiving every exotic and foreign detail: someone's conversation nearby, a bird's cry, a new smell, a friendly smile from a stranger, a unique piece of art- a sense of envelopment arises, envelopment in something new, different, strange, scary and yet exciting at the same time-life, at its fullest, on the road.

Nomad in love?

Prompted by a post from my fellow travel blogger, I have a few words on whether your love of travel is secretly sabotaging your potential for a relationship.

As you may have noticed, I try to keep my private life...well, private. I have other blogs for that kind of stuff. So, since this blog is dedicated to travelling and exploration of the world and the self, from that perspective, I try to streamline my posts to showcase more facts, interesting observations, but something that would be relevant to all the potential readers out there. Hence why my posts are quite sporadic- some days I just need to rant, and this is not the place for that.

That said, this issue of whether or not you will meet someone because you are not stable or rooted in one place doesn't just apply to the travel bugs out there- as an exploration geologist, my life takes me all over the world, sometimes for a few weeks, sometimes for a month, sometimes indefinitely,-but that is something I knew well in advance when choosing my career, I just didn't know how hard it would be.

Each time I am faced with the decision: is the new adventure worth losing what I have here, right now? And almost always, I hear a resounding “yes!” in my head-what is meant to be, will be. You cannot stop life from happening, but you can stop fear from letting you life your life the way you envision to, or secretly hope to.

As one of my friends once said: "people break up living in the same city every day, why would long-distance relationship automatically be destined for a break-up?" While I whole-heartedly agree that living in the same city does not offer immediate chances for the success of a relationship, having a long-distance relationship is not picnic either (although the comfort of knowing that you won't run into them at your favourite cafe after you break up is a great perk!)

Although there are some great uplifting examples of long-distance working out for committed couples, who have spent more than 2 years apart, only to reunite and get married and live happily ever after(...so far), it takes a fantastic dose of commitment, dedication, trust and,most importantly-great communication skills. Let's face is, when you cannot simply meet up after a disagreement, put your arms around each other, and agree to "forgive and forget", all you have to rely on is skillful communication-avoiding those sharp corners and possible problematic/sensitive topics.

Having said that, distance is not to blame for whether or not your relationship survives. Let's face it, throughout our lives, there will be circumstances when you will be forced to spend time away from your partner-days, weeks, maybe even months-so it is not through avoiding the separation, but rather how one chooses to deal with it that determines the "rate of survival" of this particular relationship. Breaks can be nice: having more time for yourself, your hobbies, meeting with the friends you may have been neglecting, getting to all those projects around the house you keep putting off, going the gym more often (and getting a free "fell-good" hormone boost!) and of course, having time to miss each other -all of this can put the romance back into a relationship, refresh your perspective on life and what is important- when done right.

I've had relationships fall apart equally as fast when a long-distance turned into living together, and vice versa. Despite all the challenges and unknowns, I am a firm believer that you should not let fear stop you-be it fear of missing out, fear of change, or fear of being alone for an indefinite amount of time- and I salute all of you brave souls out there who dare to explore what beyond what is familiar and comfortable. If someone truly wants to share their journey with you, it will happen- regardless of time, place, circumstances and plans.

Rome, Italy

One day, we all decided to go to Rome for a week. Each person had their own reasons. Me? It was incredibly cheap, I don't like to work and am always up for taking a little vacation break, and the best part- I'd get to see Venice for 1 day on my way back!

And so it began. Quite a weird bunch of us got together, having almost nothing in common, except being under 30 and living the life of a student. I've decided to forgo the hostel lifestyle and for a couple bucks more shared a very decent double- bed room in a 3-star hotel located 15 minutes walking distance from the Colosseum, which was totally worth it. I've outgrown hostels about 8 years ago. My philosophy is that you can always find a hotel deal which will give you more value for your money, rather than staying in a hostel where you literally cannot even leave anything valuable- I watched the other people in our group towing their giant backpacks on their sweaty backs in 30-degree heat, thinking "i bet they wish they would've taken my advice and stayed in a normal hotel room"- and yes, they did. The lesson here is, the cheapest option is not always that cheap-especially if you end up with a stolen cell phone, camera, wallet, etc- it's always better to stay on the "median" side of spendings, especially when it comes to a place to rest, sleep, recuperate- let's be honest, you will not enjoy any of your daily sightseeing if you didn't manage to get a good night's sleep due to 4 other people sharing your room/uncomfortable beds/noisy location. The things I look for when booking a room without splurging is, first of all, location- close to the metro/bus station and most sites; it's a huge bonus if they offer breakfast of some kind, even if it is just a coffee and a croissant, so that you can get up and go on with your day, without having to lose precious time in the morning. 

This is especially important if you're in Rome in August- it got almost unbearably hot during the day, hitting close to 40 centigrade, so we tried to schedule our activities accordingly- that would mean seeking shade in the mid-day, whether at a park or a museum, and covering most of the ground outside only in mornings and evenings-that worked out really well, and by the time the sun started setting down, we were refreshed and ready to go and explore more sights. But I'm not gonna lie, there were a few times I've had to take an extended leisurely lunch or a midday siesta, to be able to cope with going out later on. Just do whatever suits your mood and style, I guess- which brings me to my next point- the idea of travelling with a group.

I knew it would be hard even when I'd signed up for this, but I thought hey, it's worth a try- everyone else is doing it, and if you happen to be in a situation where your partner is unable to travel with you due to prior obligations, it's still better than to go alone. Boy, was i wrong!

I found so many things irritating and often enough, I ended up feeling alone or left out anyways, simply because I have my own way of doing things, in a more rational manner, that would make the best use of limited time in such a huge, culturally rich city with so much to offer.

As a result, while I was grateful to have a group there when I wanted to join them, I found it was best when taken in few-hour intervals. You really have the best chance of making sure you get to see exactly what you want and for as long as you want to when you do it on your own time, especially in a city like Rome. I chose to explore the city completely on foot, due to my central location, never taking a bus or metro once, in a span of 5 days (ok, excluding my trip to the beach, but that was obviously outside of Rome)-but I've never had my feet hurting as much as they did here in Rome- ever!(I did good by selecting to wear my ugly, utilitarian-looking summer hiking shoes with any attire-even then I could not feel my heels every night!)-so I strongly suggest you forgo any fashion trends and instead splurge on some sensible walking shoes :)


That said, each day I planned my daily route in some sort of a loop, so that I could hit as many sights as I could on the way, never going on the same road twice, unless that was the intention. Thus, after 2 days, comparing notes with the other people in my group of what they've managed to see that day, I always ended up having covered more ground, while remaining casual and relaxed, not stressing about the time spent at each place, opening hours...and even having time for leisurely cafe visits and lunch stops!My advice to anyone wanting to travel as a group in a large city is-don't. Unless you have a strict schedule that everyone agrees upon ahead of time or you just happen to be one of those people who don't care what they get to see, as long as they're "having fun"-clearly, I'm not one of them.

My experience of travelling alone in Rome had showed me that there is nothing to be afraid of, even when I ventured out past midnight on a Friday night, all I got was a few looks/whistles/comments-more of a funny "what was I thinking?" type of thing, rather than anything to be intimidated about.

And after all, in a city full of people where almost everyone out there is also a tourist, just as clueless and disoriented as you are, you never really do feel alone. I found that  as soon as I would break away from the group, little unique things would start to happen: a local would start a conversation with me in the street in Italian, while I would simply smile and nod; I would tune into the sounds out there, get lost in the little curving neighborhood streets and discover something that no guide book will ever tell you about...most of the time, I found myself with a little soft smile gracing my lips...there is something to be said about being able to trod this life at  your own pace:)