Change

"Change sometimes separates us from familiar surroundings and people in our lives. The loneliness or isolation you may feel associated with this is giving you a chance to think about what's real and what's only an illusion. It's in this space you determine where your true values lie."

So here's the thing: I am only making a one semester commitment out of this, since I already paid my rent deposit and tuition fees. This makes my life right now a little easier, but still...feels like a life sentence right now. Do humans really never learn from a place where life just feels good? Or are we always forced to go through pain and struggle and challenges in order to learn? I don't want to avoid how i feel or cover it up by plunging into schoolwork. Do i think it's important that a person is happy on their own? Yes. I thought i was. I don't know what happened along the way.

Today i finally found the surrounding forest and went walking through it and some really nice neighborhoods surrounding it. I then made my way to the 15th century monastery town, Bebenhausen. The forest was huge, luscious, the air smelled amazing, -nothing like I've seen in Canada. It reminded me a bit of the sweeping hills in Missouri, actually. Same deep shades of green, moisture in the air, maple trees, oaks, the earth.... and the monastery is so fitting nearby, with such quiet and great presence! Ah, i could just sit there for hours and meditate... smell, feel, breathe. It was the only day i felt good and at peace so far. (upon getting home, there was a major house party. Again. To escape, I watched “curb your enthusiasm”, had some pasta and wine and put my ear plugs in to get at least a few hours of sleep).

Today's trip made me realize that i need to get out of Tubingen every chance I get, while it is still sunny and warm outside. I am trying to figure out the trains to get to the lake Constance in the south and the black forest. Unfortunately I missed out on the reservations for a car this weekend, but I'm hoping for the next weekend. The trains are very confusing but i am trying!

Also some students and I are thinking of getting out for an excursion into nearby areas every weekend, since they have group ticket specials for up to five people, on train and bus for 37 euros for all of Germany or 28 euros if you are staying in the Baden-Wuttemberg area. Besides, having a group of 4-5 people would help to figure out the maps and train systems and not get lost as much! So this alone gives me more hope in terms of staying here. Some places are truly beautiful and i would like a chance to see them. However, I am still only making a one semester commitment.