I realize now how difficult it is to establish a spiritual practice in a very non-enlightening, non-spiritual place, like a student dormitory. Or is it just a North American view? Are we too used to the luxury and comfort? We expect a full-scale “meditation space” if we are to meditate at all :)
I also realize that it is time for me to do what is important to me, to do what I came here to do, to not get distracted or sidetracked, but to, most importantly, use this experience to the full benefit of personal growth. I have made a huge list of questions about myself and my choices in life in my first week here and I would like to answer all of them in 6 months' time.
Yes, I am adjusting better to the life here, but by no means do I want to let go of my spiritual practice in favour of always being surrounded by people for the sake of not being alone, to find distractions from my thoughts and fears. I want to always make time for quiet “me time”, for insight and contemplation and for nurturing the inner light. There are many spiritual people who come from all walks of life, and often it has nothing to do with comfort and how easy it is for one to be quiet and undisturbed. The real peace is the one you can maintain in the middle of a crowd, or in my case a dormitory full of 20-yr olds dying to have another party.
Freedom is a gift. Even the freedom to travel half across the world and realize that you feel completely alone, abandoned and misunderstood is still a gift to be cherished.